What change do you want to make this year?
I originally started to write this blog to offer lots of different New Year’s resolutions and the tips to stick to them to create lasting change. Despite knowing most people give up on resolutions within weeks of setting them.
Change: embrace or fear?
Then I started to think about change and what it means for us.
Change is a scary thing for most people. Yet, everyone changes daily, in a variety of ways. We cannot not change.
We can resist by insisting that others stand still and do things as we want them done. However, unwillingness to change can be disastrous.
Why are we so afraid of change? Perhaps it is because familiarity tells us that we are safe -and new situations or events challenge us to come up with resources that we fear that we may not have.
We may also fear change because we believe that when things stay the same, we can still have control over our lives. Experience, or what we were told, may have shown us that the only way to have stability and security in our life is to resist change.
We may believe that life is unfair when the circumstances and people in our lives demand change. Or, we may have been on the receiving end of an unexpected change which has caused us pain and sorrow.
New Year’s resolutions?
Those of us that are perhaps a little more comfortable with change and are looking at this new year as an opportunity for growth… set New Years’ resolutions or goals.
Whether you decide to make New Year resolutions or not, January often feels like a good time to better ourselves. We might set goals to exercise every day, take up a new hobby, or be more productive – all of which we hope will turn us into more successful, well-rounded people.
But can trying to reinvent ourselves in 2023 be detrimental to our well-being?
Now I\’m not against making new year resolutions, but I am against the punishing nature of most of them: giving up something you enjoy or starting to do something you don\’t.
Think about it – is that how you want your year to be, denying or punishing yourself?
If we are seeking change for ourselves, then perhaps we need to consider something a little gentler, a little more kind. Something more to do with empowerment, self-love, acceptance.
New Year, New You?
Do you have to make a new year resolution to be a \’new you\’?
That is kind of assuming there\’s something wrong with the old you, and there isn\’t.
Personal development is a wonderful thing, but it doesn\’t mean you have to re-build yourself from scratch.
No, it means you have a curiosity to learn, an open mind and a willingness to improve.
It is like updating your computer.
It is about being the best version of you. It\’s not about punishing yourself for the bits you don\’t like, it\’s about acknowledging them, accepting them, and working out what you want to do differently.
Before you start
When making new year resolutions, it is important to be specific about what you are hoping to achieve. For example, \’this year I\’m going to take better care of myself\’ doesn\’t mean anything. How? In what way? How will I know I\’ve achieved it?
So, make it clear what you want to achieve, or how will you know if you\’re succeeding?
A word about willpower
No willpower? No problem, you don\’t need it!
If you don\’t make \’all or nothing\’ resolutions like giving something up – you don\’t need willpower, you can use another power. Instead of scolding ourselves for all the things we are doing wrong and making long to-do lists to stop doing them, we can focus on doing the things that feel right to us.
So, what change do you want to make this year?
And if you need some help making changes in your life, contact me, please don’t struggle on alone.
07866-960396
Lynnemendelsohn.co.uk
